If Stephen Colbert Doesn’t Get an Apple Vision Pro ‘I Will Die’ | Video

“Jab a tube in my spine and toss me in a goo pod, I want to cook in ‘The Matrix,'” the CBS host said

The Apple Vision Pro has one big fan in late night, and his name is Stephen Colbert.

“If I do not get one, I will die,” the CBS host said during his opening monologue Monday night. “The Late Show” celebrity revealed that he was allowed to try out the Apple Vision Pro for about 45 minutes “because I’m special.”

“My first reaction after I took them off, and I said this to the person in the room showing me the googles, I said ‘You sons of b—hes, you’ve done it again,’” Colbert told his audience. “They have figured something out here that made the experience so wonderful that I’m sure at some point we’re all going to regret that they did.”

But Colbert is a rich and famous celebrity, you may be thinking to yourself. Surely, he can just go out and buy one. It’s not that simple.

“I can’t go get one because my wife Evie still pays all our bills,” Colbert explained. “She would not be thrilled to find that I spent $3,500 to be in the same room with her but not in the same room with her.”

An impassioned Colbert then showed his audience a video of a Wall Street Journal reporter trying out the product. In the video, the reporter wore the Apple Vision Pro while she was cooking and set two different virtual alarms over a pot of boiling pasta and a pan full of sautéing mushrooms.

“Jab a tube in my spine and toss me in a goo pod, I want to cook in ‘The Matrix,’” Colbert said immediately after the clip. “How else could you possibly set a timer for your pasta? Use the one on your oven? Well then you have to buy a second oven just to have a timer for your sauce.”

The latest gadget in Apple’s arsenal was released on Friday and ranges from $3,499 for the 256 GB version to $3,899 for the expanded 1 TB version. The device has been described as “mind-blowing” by CNET and “magic” by The Verge. However, most reviews to date have also noted the technological limitations of the product and question whether consumers are eager to experience reality through a screen.

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