After taking some time on Tuesday night to list some of the people and things that have beaten Donald Trump, Seth Meyers took even more time on Wednesday night to run down Trump’s disqualifications. In fact, the NBC host spent almost two straight minutes rattling them off.
Trump once again became the presumptive Republican nominee for president after Super Tuesday, with Nikki Haley, his last remaining Republican opponent, dropping out of the race on Wednesday morning. Meyers was admittedly a little surprised — but barely — that Trump continues to have GOP support, considering all the things he’s done.
Meyers then offered a refresher on said things, going off on Trump’s actions for nearly two minutes, barely stopping to take a breath.
“Well, here we are you guys,” Meyers began dejectedly. “Donald Trump is now the presumptive GOP nominee for president again, for a third time, despite the fact that he’s a twice-impeached, four-time criminal indictee and racist, who has been found liable for fraud and sexual abuse, banned from doing business in the state of New York for three years, owes over half a billion dollars in fines, took millions from foreign governments while he was President, tried to extort a foreign country to interfere in an election in 2020 and encouraged another to help him win in 2016.”
Without skipping a beat, Meyers continued, “Actively undermined the nation’s response to a once in a lifetime pandemic and let a deadly disease spiral out of control, is about to go on trial for breaking campaign finance laws by paying hush money to cover up an affair during the 2016 campaign.”
At that, Meyers finally had to come up for oxygen, before diving right back in, earning a huge laugh from the audience.
“Orchestrated a months-long coup attempt that culminated in a violent insurrection to disrupt the peaceful transfer of power and install him as an unelected dictator,” he continued. “Stole classified documents and obstructed attempts to get them back, has never once won the popular vote and has been routinely rejected by a majority of Americans in election after election.”
But, the late night host still wasn’t done. He continued listing more, including Trump’s fascination with and conspiracy theories about windmills and more, and calling out his many spelling errors on social media. Meyers added that, on top of all that, Trump is “the single weirdest and most off-putting human being on the face of the f—ing planet.”
“And this is the same plan that Ted Cruz lives on. So that’s saying something,” he finished. “I’m sorry but this, this guy, this guy’s not a real person. He’s a glitching NPC from a video game. He makes less sense than a f—ing Sim. If you put four walls around him without a door, he’d just forget to eat and pass out. Soon we’re gonna see him at a rally just running headfirst into a wall.”
In total, Meyers’ tirade came in just shy of exactly two minutes. And you can watch Seth Meyers’ full “A Closer Look” segment in the video above.