1. Anna Nicole Smith: RIP/TMI. Among the many unsavory details to emerge in a preliminary trial hearing involving three of Smith’s friends were those of the late model-actress’ personal hygiene while she was zoned out on prescription sedatives. Sometimes, according to a sworn statement read aloud, Smith would lie asleep in her bed for three days at a time – unfed, unhydrated and unwashed. During this time she would defecate and urinate uncontrollably on the mattress. Upon her dazed awakenings, she would sometimes vomit in bed.
2. Courtroom Chutzpah. During a hearing to extend a temporary restraining order barring two paparazzi from pestering Nicole Richie, a Superior Court public information officer busted one of the pap’s women companions, alleging she was taking pictures in court with her iPhone. The accused young woman, dressed entirely in black, loudly disputed the allegation before a bailiff escorted her outside. Richie then recounted how one of the paps had rear-ended her SUV. Ms. iPhone was soon let back in, yet no sooner had she sat down than she was calling out to the judge, protesting the description of the car that hit Richie’s as “uninsured.” The woman declared: “That’s not true! I have insurance!” Apparently the pap was driving the woman’s car at the time of the accident.
3. Hatchet Burial. This spring marked the sudden end of the bitter, years-long feud between ex-porn king Jeff Stryker and next-door neighbor Pau l Kulak, proprietor of the folk club Kulak’s Woodshed. It was a war of words and alleged acts of vandalism that played out in civil court, neighborhood council meetings,
the city’s zoning department and at the adjoining storefronts in Valley Village’s 5200 block of Laurel Canyon Boulevard. Stryker (pictured) complained about nighttime noise emanating from the acoustic folk-music club run by Kulak; Kulak accused Stryker of intimidating club patrons who tried to enter the Woodshed.
4. Family Feud: Flynt vs. Flynt. The only story better than an old-fashioned American court fight among family members is one whose property claim is hardcore pornography. Hustler magazine tycoon Larry Flynt took his two nephews to the woodshed known as U.S. District Court and accused Dustin and Jimmy Flynt of trading in on their uncle’s name by marketing porn under the “Flynt” brand that was so inferior that it threatened to taint by association the old man’s five-star product. The nephews were in the Kafkaesque position of having to prove they weren’t cashing in on the name of Larry’s far-flung X-rated empire. Mr. Hustler won his trademark-infringement suit, although the boys will still be allowed to remain in the skin trade – as long as they add their Christian names to their DVDs.
5. Biggest Anticlimax: Phil Spector Sentence. Last April the Wall of Sound creator’s second trial ended with his conviction for killing sometime-actress Lana Clarkson. After all the time and drama acted out both in court and outside, Spector’s sentence, handed down the following month, was one of the biggest anticlimaxes in L.A.’s
